We present the following as we decided to headline this week's edition of the "Virtual Route 66" on Robots and Humanoids:
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The other day, I got a little mad online.
I try not to let this happen, but if you spend as much time hanging around the internet as I do, it’s inevitable. Some piece of political news inspired someone in my feed to make a derisive comment about another state and its people, and that made me mad.
I get upset when people generalize about states—especially when they mistake the actions of politicians as being representative of the values of everyone in those politicians’ states. (As a native Ohioan and a current Kentuckian, I am especially sensitive to this.)
There are great people—and great things—in every state in this fair country, and to write states off for politics or just for cheap laughs is to miss out on a lot.
Rather than rant about this at length, I decided to challenge myself.
I wanted to see if I could find something nice to say about all 50 states (plus DC).
I mean actually nice things, too—not backhanded compliments or smart-alecky remarks like “oh yeah, I’m glad that state exists because we need a place to keep the jerkwads”. I’ve been to 41 of these 51, but even for the 10 I haven’t, I found something to say. I’d like to hear what you’ve got to say, too:
Let’s keep this strictly positive—like Mom always said, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
Here’s my list.
Alabama: Some of the best ribs I have ever had were at Promise Land BBQ outside of Tuscaloosa on my drive south for the 2010 Sugar Bowl. In the interest of fairness, I will also say that I found the lemonade at Toomer’s Drugs in Auburn to be delicious.
Alaska: I am heartened to know that a place like Alaska exists and that I can go there without a passport. I have been vaguely fascinated with the state since I read Into The Wild a half-dozen times in college, but fortunately not enough to do anything like the guy in Into The Wild did. I would like to go there and see a moose, but from a safe distance.
Arkansas: About ten years ago, I was counting up the states I’d been to, and thought “well, I don’t know when I’m ever going to Arkansas”. Shortly thereafter I went like fifteen times in two years for work. I found downtown Little Rock to be quite charming and the University of Arkansas-Monticello Boll Weevil is one of the best mascots in all of sport.
Arizona: The Grand Canyon’s pretty dang cool.
California: I lived in New York for a decade, and during that time I became convinced that I was a New York Person and thus by definition Not An L.A. Person. Then I went to LA and had the best salad I have ever had. I have been thinking about this salad for ten years. There’s a lot else to love about California, but perhaps the biggest thing is that your avocados taste like that.
Colorado: I mean, mountains, of course. Aside from that, though, we went on the Durango-Silverton Railway on a family trip when I was in high school and it was really neat. Oh, also the conspiracies surrounding the Denver airport delight me to no end.
Connecticut: When I lived on the East Coast, a few of us trekked to East Hartford to see Cincinnati play at UConn in football. We ended up invited to tailgate with a group of Polish-American fans (I think they called themselves Club Krupnik?) and they served us liquor out of a bottle shaped like a Kalashnikov. It was an excellent experience, even though we lost by 24 points.
Delaware: The 12-Mile Circle is quite possibly the most charming state border in the United States.
District of Columbia: It’s easy to be cynical about Washington but it’s still truly special to walk the Mall and go to the Lincoln Memorial.
Florida: the very first marathon I ran was the 2005 Jacksonville Bank Marathon, and as such I can say that one of the top moments of my life happened in Duval County, Florida.
Georgia: our first real vacation with the kids after the pandemic was a trip to Tybee Island and Savannah, and it was a magical time. I have a picture framed on our wall of them playing in a tide pool there and I will never forget that day.
Hawaii: I have not been to Hawaii but I would very much like to go. I like their shirts and their pizza and their contributions to late-night college football.
Idaho: Potatoes are a great thing to build your brand around. Who doesn’t like potatoes?
Illinois: Chicago is America’s greatest city. I was a butt about this when I lived in NYC but I am willing to admit it now.
Indiana: Pork tenderloins the size of a steering wheel! Also, my wife is from there. Thanks for her, Indiana! (I probably should’ve listed her first, huh?)
Iowa: My dear friend Adam lives in Des Moines and frequently texts pictures of meals that he is having at Lachele’s Fine Foods and when I tell you that I have mapped the distance from Louisville to Des Moines after receiving some of these pictures, I mean it. (It’s about 600 miles. I haven’t done it yet, but I’m not ruling it out.)
Kansas: I really enjoy the portrayal of Manhattan, Kansas in Somebody Somewhere.
Kentucky: I could go on for pages, and as an official Kentucky Colonel, I am tempted to, but I still have 33 other states to go. I will say that Kentucky is one of the prettiest states in the nation and I love driving around it. Also, my kids are native Kentuckians, and I like them.
Louisiana: The best culinary state in the nation? I flew to Louisiana for the specific purpose of helping cook gumbo at a tailgate, and it was 100% worth the trip.
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Maine: I would very much like to go there and eat lobster. That is an obvious thing to want to do that I am sure does not even scratch the surface of what the state has to offer, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to do it.
Maryland: Any state that has its own seasoning blend is good in my book.
Massachusetts: This is an inelegant way to phrase this, but everything in Massachusetts is just so dang historic? We went to a wedding in Sterling, MA last fall and stumbled across a monument to Mary, of “Mary Had A Little Lamb”. Not the songwriter, mind you, but the actual Mary. It’s apparently a questionable claim, but like, you have to be really historic to even try to claim that.
Michigan: That thing where you can tell people exactly where you’re from in Michigan by holding up the palm of your hand and pointing to it is really fun. Also, olive burgers!
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Minnesota: I have been to Minneapolis exactly twice for a total of four days and I have put it near the top of the list of places I would want to move if I were to leave Kentucky. Just charmed the heck out of me. And one of those visits was even in winter!
Mississippi: Fun to spell. Also, I love the tall pine trees down there.
Missouri: I have had some very good times visiting friends in St. Louis. City Museum is a blast, and on one trip to Vintage Vinyl in University City in ~2003 I bought Over the Rhine’s Ohio and The Drive-By Truckers’ Decoration Day. This was the buying CDs equivalent of Dolly Parton writing “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day.
Montana: a few years ago a friend took a solo dad vacation to Montana and just went to national parks and I was insanely jealous of the trip and would very much like to do this myself at some point.
Nebraska: My grandfather was born in Albion and my first visit out there was the most farm place I had ever seen. It was neat for a suburban kid to see!
New Hampshire: “Live Free or Die” is a pretty cool state slogan.
New Jersey: Asbury Park is perfect Americana, and the Gaslight Anthem is a great band.
New Mexico: the one week of the year when Hatch chiles show up in the grocery stores in Kentucky is one of my favorite weeks of the year. Also, I read this article about matanzas a few years ago and I am dying to attend one.
New York: I love walking and New York City is a tremendous city for walking, you can go for miles and miles and there is always more to see.
Nevada: If Las Vegas did not exist, we would have to invent it, it is a wonderfully ludicrous place and I want to go to The Sphere.
North Carolina: Asheville is exceedingly cool.
North Dakota: I went to Minot a half-dozen times for work a few years ago, and I found the weather to be exceptionally pleasant in the summer. Then I went in the winter, and can now say that I have experienced -50F wind chills. Also, I had some very good pizza at The Starving Rooster.
Ohio: I am an Ohioan, and I always will be. I was born in Cleveland, graduated high school in suburban Columbus, and attended college in Cincinnati. I love Ohio and Cedar Point is the greatest amusement park in the world.
Oklahoma: There are a ton of great bands from Oklahoma. I will single out Red City Radio to illustrate my point.
Oregon: It is the enduring dream of every child who grew up in the Apple II era¹ to load up a wagon and head west to Oregon, and neither time nor the threat of dysentery have abated this for me. Also, Portland looks fun.
Pennsylvania: on work trip to Johnstown last year, I ordered a hoagie at Clark’s Corner Store on the advice of longtime reader Phil Catelinet. They asked if I wanted a half or a full, and I said—foolishly—full.
I respect a state that does not play around when it comes to their hoagies.
Rhode Island: I have had some very good seafood in Providence.
South Carolina: I went to a football game at Clemson this past fall, and I found it to be a lovely and hospitable game environment, and I enjoyed running down the hill after the game.
South Dakota: It is where Little Town on the Prairie takes place, and it is the best of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books. (My wife wrote this one, and where I dream of a Dad Vacation to Montana, she has expressed for years her desire to do a Laura Ingalls Wilder tour.)
Tennessee: Nashville is the first place I ever lived completely on my own, during my first internship in college, and I will always hold fond memories of that time.
Texas: It is so incomprehensibly huge. The fact that El Paso is closer to Los Angeles than it is to Houston is one of my favorite geographical mind-benders.
Utah: Bryce Canyon and Zion are stunning in a genuinely unreal way.
Vermont: I ran the Vermont City Marathon in Burlington in 2009, and the views of Lake Champlain eased the pain of my substandard training.
Virginia: Only one of four states in the country to call themselves a Commonwealth. As a resident of one of the other three, I respect this.
Washington: The Hoh Rainforest is the most lush place I have ever been.
West Virginia: Having done many drives between Indiana/Ohio and New York City, I am appreciative of the 10-mile stretch of I-70 that runs through the West Virginia Panhandle. Especially when you’re headed west, it makes you feel like you’re finally making progress after ~350 miles of Pennsylvania. Also, pepperoni rolls are amazing.
Wisconsin: A top-tier vibes state. They’ve got beer, they’ve got cheese, they’re very friendly and Madison is beautiful.
Wyoming: Their use of cowboy imagery is very thorough and consistent. I appreciate that.
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